Here’s why the EU can take their ‘European Capital Of Culture’ and shove it right up their arse

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So the European Commission has announced today that the United Kingdom will not be eligible to put forward a European Capital Of Culture for 2023, coming up with the usual waffle-filled, limp-wrested bollocks that this bunch of unelected bureaucrats has become famous for.

Their statement read:

“As one of the many concrete consequences of its decision to leave the European Union by 29 March 2019, the UK cannot host the European Capital of Culture in 2023.

“According to the rules adopted by the European Parliament and the Council (Decision 445/2014), this action is not open to third countries except candidate countries and European Free Trade Association/European Economic Area countries.

“Given that the UK will have left the EU by 29 March 2019, and therefore be unable to host the European Capital of Culture in 2023, we believe it makes common sense to discontinue the selection process now.”

You can almost smell the bovine excrement here.

The problem apparently is that nothing has been arranged yet in terms of our post-Brexit relationship with the European Union, Free Trade Area or whatever, and so there is no guarantee that we will be in an eligible position to enter this arty-farty Guardian-worshipping luvvie-fest in 2023.

Of course there wouldn’t be a fucking delay if the EU’s top brass got it into their thick skulls that THEY are the ones who are holding up the whole process with their constant refusals to discuss trade specifics because we are not bending over and taking it firmly in the arse in terms of a financial settlement.

Never mind eh. How about you take your European Capital Of Culture and stick it right up your Juncker where it belongs.

Give Nigel Farage a knighthood NOW you ungrateful bastards

Why the hell doesn’t Nigel Farage have the word ‘Sir’ in front of his name by now?

I’ll tell you why. It’s nothing to do with ‘fear’ or ‘political correctness.’ The fact remains that the establishment is ungrateful.

Ungrateful for Nigel having the cojones to take control of the Vote Leave campaign even though the official ‘leaders’ didn’t initially want anything to do with him.

Ungrateful for Nigel addressing the British people as regular human beings with the ability to think for themselves, instead of Barack Obama who flew over here to treat us like a bunch of fucking three year old children.

Ungrateful for Nigel dedicating the best years of his life to achieving a single, simple political goal, and actually managing it.

You remember when Nigel stood down from the party leadership while saying that he wanted his life back? He wasn’t kidding.

He spent decades being called every name under the sun, and guess what? Britain voted Leave.

He spent decades being portrayed in the media as a cross between Satan, Darth Vader and Oswald Mosley, with a million and one comparisons to Adolf Hitler, and guess what? Britain voted Leave.

Unlike so many other sorry excuses for politicians, Nigel kept it simple and made it perfectly clear that his lifetime’s ambition was to get Britain out of the European Union.

He never changed his mind because it looked ‘a bit tricky’ – he just got the job done with a cigarette in one hand and a pint of ale in the other.

As politicians go, he has fulfilled 100% of what he set out to achieve in life, and his lack of a knighthood is nothing short of a national disgrace.

To cap it all off, he strolled into the European Parliament just after the Brexit vote and gave a speech that basically told the entire chamber to go fuck themselves. That deserved a knighthood in itself.

You can contact The Angry Brexiteer at angry@yourbrexit.co.uk.